Reflecting

I have spent this week reflecting and looking ahead. I love the last week of the year for just that reason. It's interesting to look back at my footprints over the last year and see where I've been and be filled with anticipation and hope for the new year! I don't exactly make resolutions because that's just disappointing. But I do have goals. I'm not legalistic but just look for progress. Like running a marathon, not a sprint. Hopeful to achieve something but full of grace if/when I have an off day.

This year, I'm looking forward to taking a trip with my husband for our 10 year anniversary. I'm hoping to stick with my 1 year Bible reading plan (and my kids got a child's NLT version to do it with me). Stick with the gym and healthy eating habits. Spend more time doing things I love and less time doing things I don't. Live with an eternity perspective.

I was addressing Christmas cards this year and as I opened our address book I was reminded that two friends in there entered into eternity this year. Coupled with my 30th birthday this year I've really been taught to "number my days". This has been an interesting phenomenon for me to enjoy the gift of the present and stop wasting today fretting over yesterday or worrying about tomorrow. As a natural worrier and saver I've found myself on many occasions this year savoring a dinner out with my family rather than complain about the bill and how I can cook at home for so much cheaper! It's moments and memories that I want to treasure on my death bed, not a bank statement.

I've also made huge strides on my perfectionist housekeeping that was close to destroying me at one point in my life. My kids aren't going to look back on their childhood and say "Man, mom needed to vacuum more, our carpet was a mess!" I'm trying to find a balance. I spend one day a week on serious cleaning then the rest of the week just light upkeep. This is huge for me and I could write pages on this topic but I won't.

On a lighter note, this year I've also met a few other goals. I've learned to sew. I'm not entering quilting contests but I can sew a straight stitch and thread my bobbin and feel pretty happy about that. I've also starting my vermicompost bin and have kept my worms alive for 10 months and now have the best possible soil for my garden this year. I've also started making and learning about aromatherapy and natural cleaners with essential oils. We also joined the gym this year and have stuck with it regularly for 7 months now. Each year I read and learn more about nutrition and we now eat healthier that we ever have before. Again perfection is not the goal, just progress.

Of course all of this means nothing without my number One. A closer walk with Jesus. A phrase I've embraced and lived by this year, "Enjoy the dew of the morning before getting caught up in the do's of the day." I love the story in Luke about the prodigal son. I think this year the biggest change in me would be found in that story. In verse 12 he said "give me" but when he came back it was "make me". I've spent the good portion of this year saying "give me" but what if He doesn't? I've come to the point I am asking him to "make me'. Make me able to endure my cup. Make me content in Him, not my circumstances. So looking back, I'm reminded of the Refiner's Fire story.

And that's my prayer for this year too. Lord, change me, mold me, use me. I want to be more like You. Help me to use my time here wisely. When You are all I have, I find out that You are all I need.

“God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”